Sister Theresa Martin, a nun with the Sisters of St. Kevin of Blackpool, has shocked the Catholic church to its core by filing for divorce - from Jesus! Sister Theresa is citing bigamy in her prosecution: "When I became a nun, I was told that I was marrying Jesus. Anyway, I was talking with some fellow sisters the other day, and it turns out that he's only gone and married them too, the cheating old so and so!"
"This is a tricky one," said Kevin Goodnight of the Catholic Bugle. "Cannonically viewed, bigamy denotes the condition of a man married to two real or interpretative wives in succession, rather than simultaneously - which is technically polygamy. Jesus might escape on a technicality."
"Whatever happens, the Catholic Church will end up with ecclesiastical egg all over their papist faces," laughed Betty Bowers of the rival
Landover Baptist Church, Utah. "Firstly, their Jesus has let himself down badly, and secondly, divorce is a sin. Either way, I think this proves a point, doesn't it?"
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