Dale's Farm

Minutes leaked from Home Secretary Theresa May’s ministerial meetings have revealed efforts by Channel 5 to turn the Dale Farm evictions into a live reality show. It is alleged that the proposal by Channel 5 executives was for a show, hosted by Dale Winton, to turn over decision making powers on the tenancy rights of Dale Farm residents to the voting public. The TV extravaganza, thought to be called Dale’s Farm, was believed to be the brainchild of Simon Cowell, and was to include a Question Time-like panel featuring Theresa May herself, Lord Sugar, Carol Vorderman and Dappy from N-Dubs.

In the proposal for the show, hurriedly drafted and submitted to the Home Secretary’s office, the benefits of adopting this approach were listed as improving public participation and interest in politics, raising valuable funds for the public purse (via premium voting line charges) and, importantly, absolving the government and judiciary from any blame whatsoever. Whilst May is said to have been tempted by the role of Pontius Pilate, and is alleged to have likened the Dale Farm squatters to a "Barabus-like rabble", she ultimately had to pass up the opportunity due to the time constraints involved.

Dappy was unavailable for comment.