Local Man Builds Stupid Car

Harrow resident, Jarvis McLucre, has invented what he believes is the world's most environmentally friendly car - literally a pile of sand. "I first got the idea during Lawrence of Arabia one Sunday afternoon. I thought, those dunes are moving, slowly but surely." A quick trip to the local builders yard and Jarvis was away.

The car relies on wind power for propulsion, and is, by Jarvis's admittance, "a little slow, more so when it's raining". "It's perfect for these crazy times mind. When I'm feeling a bit haraunged by the pace of life, I go for a ride and....nirvanaaaaahhh." Mr McLucre is quick to point out the many advantages of having a car made of sand, or 'dune buggy' as he prefers to call it. Apparently it is very cheap to run,easy to repair, features molded seats and leaves no harmful fumes, though "a grain trail is not unusual".

Jarvis's neighbours are supportive if bewildered. "He's harmless I suppose," mumbled Notty Pearson, "and the kids love to play on it when he's not around." Is there a future for this extraordinary vehicle? Jarvis isn't hopeful. "The big car companies don't want this kind of thing. Basically anyone can make a cheap car according to their needs, that ain't good news for Vauxhall." As your Despondent reporter headed off, a scream from Mr McLucre gave away another drawback. "If I ever get my hands on that fucking labrador . . ."

- Z.Face -