Blair and Bush will be joined at shoulders - say experts

There is no doubt that the world is a much better, safer place for white middle class males when its world leaders stand shoulder to shoulder, but the very health of Tony Blair and George W.Bush is increasingly under threat the more they do so. That is the alarming opinion of Dr Chris Lothsline of the University of Sheffield.

"I've seen it before", said the field-leading professor of molecular cryptology from his local boozer. "If they carry on standing shoulder to shoulder, there's a clear and present danger that Bush & Blair will become joined at the shoulder like some freak 'siamese statesman'".

The implications of this are worrying. It will probably mean that Tony Blair will have to stand shoulder to shoulder with Bush at the next general election. "Still, at least that'll mean those bastard, lying, cheating, smarmy, poncey new Labour fuckwitts won't get a third term," said Professor Lothsline on his fifth pint of Speckled Abbot.

There are also practical issues to take into account. The toilets in the new parliament building opposite Westminster, for instance, will need to accomadate the 'siamese statesmen'. "Yeah, we'll probably just knock two of the cubicles into one and move the pans closer together", said Greg Wendell of Wendell & Sons Quality Builders. "They'll be able to shit shoulder to shoulder then!"

Whatever the implications, it's clear that the latest vogue for scapular proximity is going to give our great leaders even more to think about, at a time when they carry the world's trouble on their harmonious shoulders.

- Rex Phibb -