Fiesta Crashes into Little Chef

Bin Laden ruled out
Diners at the Thruxton Little Chef on the A303 experienced New York-style panic yesterday, as the rusting Ford Fiesta of farmer Roy Pigcull crashed into its entrance lobby. "Menus scattered across a radius of 3, 4 foot I'd estimate" explained brave trainee receptionist Cathy Bovine. "One of 'em caught me on the forearm and cut it slightly. S'okay though."

"It was terrifying", said diner Keith Ruddock, "I'd only just started tucking into my Little Chef Big Brekkie Special Feast and I thought " 'ello, a complex geo-political quaqmire's gonna get me - never thought that would happen." Fortunately Keith was seated safely near the Kiddie's Fun Paddock.

Police were called immediately to take suspect Pigcull away for interogation. "Me fuckin' brakes failed! That's all! Now, just coz I got a moustache and coz of the prevailing atmosphere, I'm demonised as some Koran-twisting jihad nutcase", he moaned. He was freed after a night in the cells, "just in case" according to one officer.

"You just can't tell these days can you?" remarked Eida Smythe rhetorically, "they're sneaky them Arabs". Eida helped restrain Pigcull by sitting on his chest until police arrived. Life at the eatery was slowly returning to normal this morning. "We just want to get back to what we do best", said Bovine defiantly, "and prove to Bin Laden we won't be intimidated. Even though he seems to be in the clear on this occasion."