Dome home for drones?

Shock Bee Consortium in bid for Blair's Blunder
Chrust reports this
Cash starved, debt-ridden eyesore the Millennium Dome appeared to be on the verge of finding a backer last night when a group of bees tabled a package to save the metal monstrosity.

According to Surrey beekeeper, Albert Senegal-Lancer, a large group of his bees wish to inhabit the now vacant tit-shaped tin shed and turn it into a giant hive. Albert, who suffers from alcohol depression and a mild form of psychosis, mistakenly believes he can communicate with various members of the insect world. "Bees are a progressive species and they wish to expand into the property market. They have such drive and ambition and they need bigger premises. Although they can't offer sound financial backing they intend to pay with honey", he told our reporter over a beef and ale pie and several pints in the snug of the Cask & Bottle, somewhere in the Surrey countryside.

The bee consortium which has allegedly presented the package, was apparently unavailable for comment. "They're busy buzzing around and making fucking honey" Albert spluttered into our reporter's face when questioned, "thems make lovely honey" he drooled wistfully between gulps of strong lager and mouthfuls of pie.

Dome opposition groups welcomed the news of the bid and encouraged other insects to become more proactive with their approach to environmental issues. Francis Lipbalm spokesman for the environmental newspaper Green is the Colour the Countryside is our Game voiced his support, "I think it's a simply wonderful idea. Hornets, Bluebottles and Mayflies should get together and stand up and be counted. They are being exploited and they deserve a bigger slice of the pie".

The government has denied that a formal approach has been made, "We are unaware of any new developments concerning the Dome" an official-looking person said. But to fuel speculation he also stated that, "a number of bees have been seen buzzing around Number 10 recently looking very serious and business like".

Albert insists that it is only a matter of time before the bees get what they want, "It's only a matter of time before they get what they want" he shouted as our reporter prepared to leave the pub. "Tony Martin was a good lad" he yelled as he waved his fist and farted. At the time of going to press no further action from Albert or the bees seems to have materialised. To make matters worse for our reporter he found dog dirt on one of his new shoes and a passing car had lightly splashed rain water onto the bottom of his suit trousers.